The Star

When we named Mercy, I tried to think of a symbol that would remind me of her.  After a lot of thinking, I chose a shooting star.  I now wear a necklace almost every day with a little silver star on it that reminds me of her.  I chose the shooting star because of it's brief but beautiful appearance.  I also thought it was neat that she was the fifth child-completing the 5 points of a star.

When I lost Mercy, I asked why.  I know it's not really a question that we as humans have the right to ask of God, but I did.  I could be ok with it if I just knew why.  I realize that God didn't owe me an explanation, but I feel like He has, and continues, to answer me. I have written that Andris was adopted because of our loss of Mercy.  It is so clear to me that God used this experience in our life to get us involved with New Horizons and later, introduce Providence Church to the program.

I watch the ups and downs, the twists and turns, the heartache and joy that have occurred since Providence Church has had members involved in hosting.  I can't help but think of it as a domino effect--beginning with my little Mercy.

During my work with New Horizons, I have been made aware of a poem about starfish.

I love how my Mercy's star symbol is combined with the purpose I believe God had for her life.  Her life was just the beginning of a long list of orphans who have been shown love, learned about God, and found families...one at at time.

Andris

Sabine 

Artjoms 

Janis 

Madars 

Anna

Another Goodbye

Here we are again, another May 26th.  Today I lost another piece of my heart.  I haven't written, but we have had another member in our family all year.  Sabine came to stay in June of last year.  She was a much bigger challenge than anyone expected, but still we love her so much.  I can only hope that the time she spent with us has helped her in some way.  Today, I put her on a plane back to Latvia.  I sit here tracking her flight...watching the plane graphic get farther and farther away from us.  The plane is taking Sabine back to a life in an orphanage.  I can't even fathom having to go back to that life after living with the love of family and friends for an entire year.  It hurts me to think of her going to bed alone.  I'm scared of the influences she will face and the opportunities she will be given.  I'm worried about her future.  I feel so helpless.